Go Ahead- Get the Fun Coffee Drink
Guest Post by: Erin Culver, RD
You enter your favorite coffee shop and are hit with the strong smell of fresh espresso mixed with the warm, comforting fall scents like nutmeg and cinnamon from the seasonal drink offerings. It’s pumpkin spice season, after all. You want to order one of those fun drinks, but you can either see the calorie counts on the board, or you believe that they are too many calories. Since you’re trying to watch your figure or focus on your health, you opt for a black cup of coffee or plain green tea with or without artificial sweetener instead to save some calories or adhere to your diet. The friend who joins you at the coffee shop doesn’t hesitate and orders the delicious fall drink WITH whipped cream and enjoys every sip in front of you. The audacity.
You can feel your jealousy welling up, especially if your friend doesn't appear to worry about their weight or what they eat. You think, “it must be nice to order whatever you want. I gain weight if I even look at a pastry in the display case.” This situation takes most of the fun out of your gathering, and you leave feeling defeated, despite the quality time you just had with your friend. You pat yourself on the back for being “good”, but you couldn’t help but feel different, distanced, or isolated somehow because of your low-cal or diet choice.
If you haven’t experienced something like the above scenario, I’m genuinely happy for you- what a lovely place to be. On the other hand, those of us who have tried restricting our intake, whether calories, sugars, or whatever else, often go through life with a weird mix of superiority and jealousy. We feel like we have strong willpower and are elite when we say no to a dessert or a latte that we want, yet we long for the freedom that our friends and family members may have when it comes to eating “bad” foods.
Justifying a fun coffee order was something I struggled with for a long time, but having freedom with coffee drinks of all kinds is now a fundamental aspect of my life. As we enter into pumpkin spice season, now feels like an appropriate time to talk about going out for a cup of coffee and enjoying the heck out of it no matter what!
The reason I really started to think about this specific scenario is because my fiance, Alex, works as a barista in a specialty coffee shop. I love hearing about the different drink combinations people order, and how happy people seem to be after getting a bit of coffee in their system. I also love that he comes home smelling like coffee and that he can occasionally bring me home a sample of cold brew. My life has never been the same since trying the stuff with a bit of coconut flavor or heavy whipping cream. Wow.
One thing that he and I both dislike about his line of work is how often he has to hear diet talk.
Alex has grown weary and woeful when customers say things like the following several times per day:
“I’d love to get a latte, but I’ll stick with a black coffee because it’s zero calories”
“Those pastries look tasty, but I’m going to be ‘good’ today and avoid them”
“No whipped cream for me, I’m watching my figure”
“I need that with sugar-free syrup because I’m on keto”
“I just wanted to come by to smell the coffee and pastries. I’m in the middle of a fast- you know intermittent fasting?”
When he gets home from work, we often reflect on how truly tragic it is that people sometimes literally come by just for the smells because their diet says they aren’t allowed to enjoy a latte or muffin once in a while. Their body clearly craves a treat of some kind, and they are so desperate for something they aren’t allowing themselves to have, that they settle for a smell. Is this really how we want to live our lives?
Not me, not anymore. I wouldn’t trade my freedom with coffee and cafe dates for anything. Some fear that letting go of their rigid grip on their diets would make them run out and order a specialty latte every single day, but I don’t buy this. When I allow myself to have a latte or mocha or whatever else unconditionally, plenty of days go by where I feel “specialty coffeed out” and genuinely just want a plain cup of joe. Depriving myself of a pumpkin spice or maple latte during pumpkin spice season when I want them would just leave me feeling sad and angry, and it would likely lead me to go hard on desserts later to fill the void of earlier deprivation.
This is why I consider myself an anti-diet dietitian and am so gung-ho about intuitive eating. The constant pursuit of weight loss takes so many things away from us. It prevents us from enjoying foods or drinks we clearly enjoy, it can distance us or isolate us from others, and it makes us constantly think about how unhappy we are about our bodies. The whole point of this post is to give you permission to order the fun drink the next time you want one at a coffee shop. It’s to give you permission to let go of your rigid food rules and exercise regimens. Lastly, it’s to give you permission to feel freedom around food and drinks and move on with your life.
If these scenarios resonate with you, I want to offer you immense compassion and understanding. Restricting your food and drink intake can feel comforting and give you a sense of control at times. Giving up that restriction is a challenging and even painful process, but I can assure you that working toward intuitive eating is worth it.
Intuitive eating has given me the freedom I longed for when ordering specialty coffee drinks, and there are no words to articulate how much this simple thing means to me. You can get there too. And if you need a helping hand along the way, the 21st Century RD has your back!
If you enjoyed this post check out more of Erin’s work at https://thediabolicaldietitian.com
